Lagoon on the SNES, while probably not THE worst game in the history of games, is easily my least favourite ever made. It's just packed with horrible flaws that prevent ALL DAMN ENJOYMENT HURRRRRRR
Where to start:
1.) The music. There are a lot of rock-centred themes in this game, and for a lot of the part, they sound great. A few pretty songs as well. BUT, in any area where you are going to spend an amount of time over five minutes, some of the most bland and repetitive VGM I've ever heard is played on a constant loop, for nearly an hour at a time. This is mainly problematic considering the second point:
2.) The level design. The graphics are great in this game, though there aren't a lot of Mode-7/other fancy SNES effects in this game, so it's pretty clear it's a port. So generally things are nice to look at.
But that don't mean squat when you're looking at the same thing over and over and over again. There are literally no unique landmarks in any field or dungeon, just the same statue, the same rock, the same crest, the same candle. Navigating around the ENORMOUS dungeons can take a bloody awful amount of time. And all that while, the artificial bass plucks in the music are boring a hole through your head. It's just literally no fun.
Oh yeah, and there's no map.
3.) Scrolling. Rather than the screen being centred on you the whole time, like when navigating large areas in Link to the Past, the screen only scrolls when you are really close to the edge of it. So, when walking, most of the time you can barely see a metre in front of you. This makes navigation even harder, and also means you'll often run right into the randomly spawning enemies.
4.) Menus. They're cack and take several years to fade in and out. Definitely interrupts the pace of combat when you need to switch to an item.
5.) Health and MP slowly replenish when you stand still.
Because standing still is a lot of fun, and it's not like this game has wasted enough of your time with its confusing and expansive levels.
6.) Oh god the combat. ThE godoDAMN SWoprd has a range of about three pixels. The only way to reliably kill enemies without taking damage is to stand still, wait until the enemy walks into extreme range of you, then hit him. God forbid you do something out of line, because then you'll take damage. This is by far the single most frustrating combat system I've ever seen in a game.
Later on you get a staff. It shoot fireballs which split off into three which travel at perfect, useless geometric angles. This means you can walk up to an enemy, spam a load of fireballs into its face, then you get to stand still and wait for your MP to restore. Joy. There are probably other spells but I couldn't be bothered to play further and get them.
7.) Sound effects. I think there are about four sound effects in the game. Let me think:
- Door opening
- Menu/talking beep
- 8 bit 'pew' when you cast a fireball
- "Ding!"
That's it. There'll be some I've missed, but for the most part, nothing makes any sound. The enemies don't make sound. There is no atmospheric sound. You'll only be hearing the music for the most part. It creates a... void of atmosphere. Like when you're in a soundproof room, and you feel that crushingly hollow sensation in your ears. It's like that but with atmosphere. It's just not there. The repetitive graphics don't help matters either.
Oh wait, there is a sound effect to hear. It's called "Ding!"
"Ding!" is the sound the emanates from your speakers when you strike an enemy with your sword.
Now this is the part of the post that transfers from discussing 'flaws', ie, 'ill-informed game design decisions that impair the game', to 'design decisions I just plain hate' (and the reason why I class the music (which is often an area of personal preference) as flawed is because of the use of about three incessant horrible samples, and because it is flawed).
I hate "Ding!". "Ding!" combines with the music to deepen that hole being bored into my brain. "Ding!" makes me mad to the point where I cry a little bit, because there is no way in hell "Ding!" is synonymous with the sound of a metal bladed hitting flesh, and it's damn proud of it, otherwise every five seconds of the game would not be accompanied by "Ding!".
TL:DR
