Your Favorite Lines

[MKindy]

They can be from anything -- music, shows, movies, video games -- but what are they? I -- nay, the WORLD -- wants to know!

I was replaying the end of Portal 2 and I re-heard one of the best lines ever uttered (which inspired this thread):

Spoiler! :

"Reactor Explosion Uncertainty Emergency Pre-Emption Protocol initiated: This facility will self-destruct in two minutes."

And some (bonus!) (but wordless!) easy listening from the same while you think of all the great lines you've ever heard:

Spoiler! :

[Blackadder51]

Blackadder time! These are off memory .
--

"This is like having an arrow shot through your neck, and then noticing that there is a particley large gas bill attached to it"

"Baldrick your brain is so small that if a hungry canibal cracked open you head there wouldnt be enough to fill a small water cracker"

"I have a plan so cunning you could brush your teeth with it!"

"Treat your plane, like you treat your women!

Do you mean like invite her to my mothers for tea sir?

No! I mean get inside her four times a day and take her to heaven and back! WOOF WOOF!"

[Lord_Mountbatten]

"He has realised at last that imaginary guitar notes and imaginary vocals exist only in the imagination of the imaginer, and ultimately, who gives a fuck anyway?"

Yes, I've been listening to Frank Zappa a lot recently. That's from his song "Watermelon in Easter Hay".

[Milo_Windby]

*"You know," said Arthur, "it's at times like this, when I'm trapped in a Vogon airlock with a man from Betelgeuse, and about to die of asphyxiation in deep space that I really wish I'd listened to what my mother told me when I was young."
"Why, what did she tell you?"
"I don't know, I didn't listen."*

*There is a theory which states that if ever anyone discovers exactly what the Universe is for and why it is here, it will instantly disappear and be replaced by something even more bizarre and inexplicable.
There is another theory which states that this has already happened.*

*The major problem — one of the major problems, for there are several — one of the many major problems with governing people is that of whom you get to do it; or rather of who manages to get people to let them do it to them.
To summarize: it is a well known fact that those people who most want to rule people are, ipso facto, those least suited to do it. To summarize the summary: anyone who is capable of getting themselves made President should on no account be allowed to do the job. To summarize the summary of the summary: people are a problem.*

[MKindy]

-snip-

Best story ever. I love the whole thing.

[SneakyPie]

Ohohoho, I'm so witty.

Anyways, here's one of mine:
"And with that my liege, is how we know the earth to be banana shaped."

[Cho]

Palin: You shot him. You shot him dead.

Sgt.: Well, he was attacking me with a banana.