Mall Fight!

[Pinmissile]

<SPAWN!>

Oh crap, where am I? Why is everyone fighting? Why is nobody wearing suits? This is all very confusing.

Shit, erm, Execute emergency plan!

I raid the liquor store and grab every single bottle of brandy in sight.

[Skunk_Giant]

I go crazy and throw myself through another window.

I respawn. Black respawns next to me. I make a truce with him. "I HAVE BLACKADDER! ALL WHO COME NEAR ME WILL BURN!" I scream.

Black pours a bucket of lava on me.

-_-

[vallorn]

*respawn* ow that grenade hurt
goes to the gun shop and gets a Browning Hi Power and an FN2000 as well as some petrol, polystyrene and semtex.

i then make a Nalpam Bomb and flick it at PinMissile.

[Pinmissile]

Shambling out from the liquor store with five bags filled with brandy and a smile that would make the Grinch proud, I find myself suddenly on fire due to receiving a lovely gift from Vallorn.

However, I come prepared. I was clever enough to make my suit inflammable after setting at least three of my residencies on fire since I started playing Minecraft.

However, I noticed a fatal mistake I made when Vallorns gift suddenly combusted before my very eyes, it appears that my skin and my eyes are still very, very flammable.

In a mad haze of panic and desperation, I pull out a bottle of brandy and attempt to douse the flames by pouring a 60% ethanol substance upon my head.

That was my second fatal mistake. I am now a towering pillar of fire and death carrying with him five bags filled to the brim with highly flammable liquids.

Take cover.

[Knife_28]

"AAARRRGGGGG,"I cry out as 697 grazes my head. "My only weak point, how did you know?" I then I died.

[697134002]

I respawn at the back of my store, and rush back to see Knife die. I search Knife's body and take his lazer tanto, rigging it up to a tripwire at the door of my store, which, conveniently, had no windows.

[Lord_Mountbatten]

I sit at home sipping a cup of tea, blissfully unaware of the carnage occurring.

[Pinmissile]

Running around the store as a burning inflammable suit carrying with him brandy time bombs, I naturally feel an irresistible urge to go antiquing and blow up 697.

After I consulted the mall topology, stopped for lunch and met a nice lady who was quite into charcoal dressed in suits I find myself outside of "Antique Weapons", oh look! 697 is there!

My Swedish genes of politeness suddenly trigger upon seeing another person and I rush towards 697 to shake his hand, dodging all of his traps as I'm far too afraid to make a mess out of his fine accommodations.

Meanwhile, 697 watches a large fiery pillar of doom enter his store, do several cartwheels to avoid his traps and somehow melt the thermal detection unit which was rigged to his "IWIN" contraption rush towards him, shake his hand and pull out a bottle of brandy to celebrate this fine occasion.

Oh no, it looks like my hand suddenly vanished upon bringing out some brandy. I might have cut myself on something sharp on the way in. In any case, I drop the highly flammable brandy.

Kaboom.

"Antique Weapons" has ceased to exist and is scheduled to be replaced by a Starbucks in the near future.

Oh and I die.

[697134002]

When I see Pinmissile enter Antique Weapons, I quickly grab some weapons, food and water, and escape through a tunnel I had dug to the store below. After entering the store below Antique Weapons, I rush out and leap across one of Taco's booby traps to reach another store, the rival of Antique Weapons: Weapons Galore. Then Antique Weapons blows up and the hole in its floor lets most of the flames near the back of the store escape, and burn that store as well.

[vallorn]

i notice 697 escaping and set up some grenade tripwires. i then open fire with the FN2000 (prone from the shoulder obviously).

[Knife_28]

I respawn and sneak up behind Lord Mountbatten. "DESU!" I yell in his ear.

[warlockseer]

I spawn right in front of vallorn's line of fire and die.

[random980]

*Spawn*
what is this i dont even... *narrowly dodges bullet* OH NOW ITS ON
oh and if this mall has EVERYTHING, i find a cloning machine and make Chuck Norris, i win.

[warlockseer]

I respawn in a room filled with surveillance monitors. I sit down and look at the monitors. I find out where almost everyone is at.

[vallorn]

i see the cameras moving and shoot out as many as i can see.

[warlockseer]

I see vallorn shooting the cameras. I then call in the derposaurs to eat vall and possibly fuzz.

[vallorn]

most get caught by my genade traps but i fail to see the one behind me... *GAME OVER! RESPAWNING*

[warlockseer]

I watch the derposaur eat vall and i laugh hysterically. I hear something behind me and i turn around."Oh sh-" i say before my head gets eaten off by one of my own derposaurs. *RESPAWNING.....*

[Skunk_Giant]

I respawn, unaware of what's going on, but I have a plan...

I rush to the nearest chocolate store and empty it all into my stomach. I lay down and go to sleep.

[697134002]

Trapped in my new home-store, 'Weapons Galore', I look down the hallway and see Skunk passed out and 500 pounds heavier than when I first saw him. I sigh and throw a hard-boiled egg at him.

[vallorn]

*Respawn*
oh god Derpasaur's HURT. I go to a cheap alchohol shop and make a set of molotov cocktails which i then throw at Skunk, the derpasaurs and 697

[Skunk_Giant]

I wake up as a hard boiled egg smacks into my face. Confused at this unlikely choice of weaponry, I look around. Suddenly, my back goes on fire. "BLACK!" I scream. I turn, but find Vallorn is instead the owner of this flame. I tackle him to the ground and spread the fire to him before burning up into ashes.

[random980]

While everyone is oblivious to my existence so far, I,
raid the weapons store and give my chuck norris clone a bazooka, a m60, some spaz12 shotguns, an 'Australian' sized knife some grenades, a red crowbar, a gravity gun, a portal device and an iron-man suit. He goes on a rampage killing Warlock, Skunk, 697<numbers> and vallorn, then ironically hides an alive grenade in Blackadders pocket blowing him up.
mean while i hole up in 1 of many toilet cubicals through out the mall with my laptop, hacking the malls security cameras with a TF2 lvl 3 sentry guarding my cubical and an AK47 by my side, also i have an iphone i stole playing awesome music.

[haxxorzd00d]

I spawn. "Well, this is a fine mess," I exclaim, narrowly avoiding gunfire and Molotovs flying overhead. I dash across to a fancy dress store and adorn myself with a sexy stripper outfit, then seduce a mall security guard to get into the control room.

I then wallop him in the head and steal his keys, which I use to activate the mall-wide anti-riot neurotoxin release system (a generous donation from the good people of Aperture Science).

[Lord_Mountbatten]

I respawn and sneak up behind Lord Mountbatten. "DESU!" I yell in his ear.

Knife is shot by Jeeves, and I continue to sip my tea.

[697134002]

I dodge the molotovs, but get knocked out by Meatroid when he shoots the side of my head and my achilles' heel.

[vallorn]

i find a dormant volcanic vent in the sauna and throw a molotov at it.
BOOOOOM
the floor is now Lava... ENJOY!

[Joskeuh]

I spawn and look at the chaos and carnage around me.
I * Sigh* and stroll to the closest Stealth suit store.
With the suit I rob the bakery of some cupcakes.
I then place myself in a nice hammock and enjoy the view.

[697134002]

I notice lava spreading along the floor. I grab a bucket of water and throw it at the lava, halting its spread temporarily.

[random980]

i find a dormant volcanic vent in the sauna and throw a molotov at it.
BOOOOOM
the floor is now Lava... ENJOY!

My chuck norris clone is in an 'iron-man' suit, your lava is invalid